Carrying that Body Home

Anxiety building

Thinking during the long drive “home”

If only it were longer.

I stare blankly out the windshield,

Preparing for awkward conversations-

Many intriguing questions…

What are you studying?

Like you haven’t been asked me that.

What have you been doing down there?

Smoking crud

Crying, laughing

Writing, skipping class, and gasping.

Is my honest answer really that much of a disaster?

Where’s your boyfriend?

Still dating that black boy from Lansing?

“It’s only skin deep you know.”

We get visits twice a week, but how would you know?

You wouldn’t understand, because you think the world is so perfect.

“How’s your friend?”

“I hear she is a lesbian now.”

Internalized anger

No voice ever shouts out

I nod my head, and bite my tongue, its 2021...

Yet here where my words can scream

I am raw, I am free

I sing to those birds and the bees

The ones who never let me

be me.

-m.b